Many people seek help for anxiety, depression, or relationship struggles without realizing that these are often symptoms of something deeper. At the root of many mental health and relational difficulties lies unhealed trauma. Trauma therapy is not just about managing symptoms — it’s about addressing the underlying wounds so that true and lasting healing can take place.

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​What Is Trauma?

 

World-renowned physician and neuroscientist Dr. Bessel van der Kolk describes two main types of trauma:

 

Big “T” Trauma

These are overt, extreme events such as a car accident, choking incident, violent assault, the death of a loved one, or witnessing violence. Experiences like these can leave a person feeling chronically unsafe, helpless, or worthless.

 

Small “t” Trauma

This form of trauma is more subtle and ongoing. It often arises in childhood and often in family environments with emotionally absent, invalidating, and misattuned caregivers, shaping core beliefs such as “I’m unworthy” or “I don’t matter.” Small “t” trauma is also referred to as developmental trauma, attachment trauma, attachment shock, complex trauma, childhood wounding, or emotional neglect.

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Examples include:

• Lack of affection or emotional attunement from caregivers (This is is a primary source of trauma and renders children more susceptible to the stresses and harms that occur in every day life.)

• Being ignored or punished for expressing feelings

• Bullying by peers or mistreatment by teachers

• Growing up with a sick sibling or through parental divorce

• Experiencing poverty, misogyny, racism, or homophobia

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Gabor Maté reminds us that what’s often called “little t” trauma is not any less impactful than “Big T” trauma. These experiences can wound us just as deeply - sometimes even more so - and may leave us more vulnerable to stressors and  hurts later in life. The good news is that with the right support and therapy, it’s possible to heal these old wounds and experience greater resilience and strength. 

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Trauma Is Not the Event Itself

 

It’s important to note that trauma is not the event. Trauma describes how the body processes and stores overwhelming experiences. As Dr. Becky Kennedy explains, “Trauma refers to an experience stored in aloneness rather than within a safe connection.” (Gabor Mate has a lot to say about this, too!)

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Each person is impacted by overwhelming, distressing experiences differently, but the body responds in largely predictable ways. Trauma alters brainstem-level functioning, creating cycles of overwhelm, anxiety, depression, and fear. These changes can deeply affect a person’s sense of self, relationships, and quality of life — often long after the original experiences have ended. (We see scientific evidence of these alterations in FMRI studies. Check out Ruth Lanius's work for more information.)

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Symptoms of Unhealed Trauma

 

Trauma may show up as:

• Negative self-beliefs (“I’m worthless/bad/alone/helpless…”)

• Feeling numb, disconnected, or “spacey”

• Lack of joy or energy, frequent sadness or fear

• Hypervigilance and mistrust

• Sleep problems (too little or too much)

• Intense emotions, rage, or avoidance

• Unexplained physical pain or fatigue

• Addictions or compulsive behaviors

• Relationship difficulties and repeated conflict patterns

• Problems concentrating, staying motivated, or keeping work/school commitments

 

Many mental health diagnoses such as anxiety, depression, borderline personality disorder, or ADHD are often rooted in unhealed trauma.​ We're also coming to better understand that many physical problems (for example migraines, chronic pain, autoimmune diseases) are linked to trauma wounds. ​

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Healing From Trauma

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Unhealed trauma requires specialized therapy. While therapy cannot change the past, it can heal the wounds, symptoms, and relational difficulties caused by overwhelming experiences.

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• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is widely recognize by trauma experts as a leading therapy.

• DBR (Deep Brain Reorienting) is an emerging approach showing promising results in treating mental health problems, including PTSD, emotional dysregulation,  and chronic stress. Read more about DBR and how it heals trauma at the root.

• Other evidence-based approaches, such as Internal Family Systems (IFS), body-based therapies, and mindfulness-informed care, also support healing.

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Many people seek individual therapy when symptoms of unresolved trauma surface. With the right support, it’s possible to build resilience, strengthen relationships, and restore a renewed sense of self. Trauma-informed couples therapy can also support lasting change.

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You don’t have to stay stuck focusing only on symptoms instead of causes. By engaging in therapies designed to reach the root - such as EMDR and Deep Brain Reorienting - you can heal from the inside out, creating meaningful change in how you feel, connect, and live.