Understanding our attachment patterns doesn’t always stop the nervous system from reacting in familiar ways. People often come to therapy already knowing a great deal about themselves. They may understand their attachment patterns or style. They know that they tend to become anxious when someone pulls away, or that they shut down when another person gets too close. They may even know exactly where these patterns came from. And still, in the moment, the reaction happens. A partner becomes...

One of the things I have come to appreciate through many years of trauma work is that sometimes doing less allows more to happen. This is particularly important in Deep Brain Reorienting (DBR), where we are trying to follow processes that arise naturally within the nervous system rather than directing the person towards a particular emotional experience or outcome. Alexander Technique (AT) interweaves can sometimes be helpful within this process. But their usefulness is not simply in knowing...

We are wired for connection, which is why being left out can hurt so deeply. You open Instagram and see the photos. A group of friends went for dinner, spent the day together, or celebrated someone's birthday. You weren't invited. Or maybe you find out in a much more ordinary way. Someone says, “When we were all at dinner on Saturday…” and there's that little moment when you realise there was a dinner. Everyone seems to know what they're talking about. You don't. I've always found it...